VANCOUVER — Richard Hesketh says he won’t be going back to Grindr.
He told a B.C. Supreme Court hearing that he now refuses to use the gay dating app where his friend, Alexander Lo, encountered Dwight Kematch, who beat and stabbed Lo to death in January 2024.
It was the first time they had met.
“I cannot find myself willing to go back to the online app (where) you targeted Alex,” Hesketh said on Jan. 16, addressing killer Kematch directly during his victim impact statement.
“The trauma associated with this action is too much for me to go back to literally the start of the crime.”
It’s not the only homicide in B.C. that has recently prompted concerns about potential risks associated with apps like Grindr, or men-seeking-men websites, from users, advocacy groups and police.
Muhammad “Ash” Zafar was found dead at a home in Kamloops on Jan. 5. In a news release on Jan. 7, Mounties encouraged anyone who had contact with Zafar in the days leading up to his death to contact investigators.
“This includes individuals who use men‑seeking‑men dating sites or apps and may have communicated with him, or with someone using his images or profile information,” RCMP Staff Sgt. Kevin McIntyre said in the release.
The Kamloops detachment also issued a warning to take precautions when meeting new people through online platforms, telling users to share plans with friends or family, arrange check-ins before and after meetings, and to meet in public if possible.
“Trust your instincts and leave if something feels unsafe,” it said.
Don Tecson said he was shocked to learn of his friend Zafar’s death.
He recounted how he and Zafar had met on Grindr in 2019, but never had a romantic relationship and instead became good friends.
“This was not the way I expected to start this year,” he said in an interview. “I cannot imagine anybody wanting to kill such a beautiful, loving, charming, wonderful person.”
Helen Kennedy, executive director for national 2SLGBTQ+ advocacy organization Egale Canada, said the deaths of both Lo and Zafar had caused “profound grief” that is being “felt deeply across 2SLGBTQI communities in British Columbia and beyond.”
She said in a statement that for many queer and trans people, particularly gay men, online platforms “are not simply optional spaces.”
“They are often essential tools for connection, community and safety in a world where discrimination and stigma still limit opportunities to meet in person,” Kennedy said.
“When violence occurs in these digital‑to‑offline spaces, it naturally heightens fear and retraumatizes communities that are already disproportionately targeted.”
Lo, whose brother Adam Kai-Ji Lo is the suspect in the Lapu Lapu festival attack that killed 11 people, met his killer on Grindr. Kematch, who was intoxicated at the time, invited Lo to his East Vancouver home around midnight on Jan. 28, 2024.
They had never previously met in person, according to an agreed statement of facts.
What began as a casual sexual encounter turned deadly. Kematch beat Lo with a hammer, then stabbed him to death after Lo fled the room in the home Kematch shared with his sister and brother-in-law.
Kematch pleaded guilty to second-degree murder and was sentenced to life imprisonment with no eligibility to apply for parole for 13 years.
Hesketh said Lo was a “one-of-a-kind burst of energy,” and that the impacts of the crime were “catastrophic.” He questioned whether it was a hate crime, and wondered if Kematch had attempted a similar crime before.
The murders of Lo and Zafar are not the first of their kind in Canada, linked to online dating platforms.
Investigations into the disappearances of Andrew Kinsman and Selim Esen from Toronto’s gay village in 2017 revealed they had been active on apps like Grindr and Tinder prior to their deaths.
Serial killer Bruce McArthur was convicted in 2019 of the murders of eight men, including Kinsman and Esen. Many of the victims met or communicated with McArthur through dating apps, prosecutor Michael Cantlon said at the time.
Kennedy said that the recent deaths in B.C. happened against the backdrop of a rise in anti‑2SLGBTQI hate, citing research by Egale suggesting rhetoric and violence in Canada began sharply escalating in early 2022 and has not slowed.
Statistics Canada’s latest data, posted last March, said there were 860 hate crimes targeting sexual orientation in 2023, nearly 70 per cent up from the previous peak of 509 in 2022. The agency said more than half of the 2023 crimes specifically targeted gay and lesbian populations.
Kennedy said the statistics paired with the knowledge of the recent murders “underscore a critical need for social media platforms, governments, and community members to work together to make sure that queer and trans people can enter all spaces without heightened risk of harassment, discrimination, or violence.”
“We know that online hate and harassment don’t stay online; they embolden offline violence,” she said.
“That’s why safer digital and offline environments matter, not just for individual users but for the security and human rights of our communities.”
Grindr said in a statement that it was “saddened to hear” about the deaths of Lo and Zafar, saying it takes its role as a “connector for the queer community seriously” and works diligently to provide a safe environment for users.
“Like any social networking and dating platform, there may be instances where bad actors attempt to misuse its features, potentially putting users at risk. We co-operate with law enforcement to support investigations and help hold those who misuse our platform accountable.”
The app said it has a content moderation and policy enforcement team that reviews reports and “proactively removes violating accounts and content.” It said it has AI-powered text monitoring to block prohibited content and a photo review function.
Other features include in-app reporting, a ban appeals process and a variety of in-app safety features, including screenshot blocking and the ability to hide profiles from specific people, such as co-workers or past partners.
It said it encourages users to report any suspicious behaviour and utilize its video calling feature to verify connections before meeting up. The company also said it encourages users to “report illegal behaviour within the app or to local authorities.”
Christopher Dietzel, a researcher at Concordia University’s Digital Intimacy, Gender and Sexuality lab, said safety has always been an inherent risk and issue for dating app companies because their “entire premise” is to connect people.
While some safety features have been implemented, he said there are limitations in terms of what companies can do, specifically once people move off the platform and meet in person.
“Safety can mean so many different things to so many different people,” he said, noting that cultural norms may differ between groups.
He said common harms people have reported experiencing on apps may include harassment, coercion, discrimination, catfishing or unwanted sexual advances, “but the rates at which they experience these harms or how severe these harms may be is often related to identity.”
On-app safety features include “reporting and blocking features” and some apps have also created workarounds to address societal power imbalances.
Dietzel pointed to the app Bumble, noting it was created as a “women-driven” app in which women have to message first to start a conversation with a man.
But similarly, the differences in how apps function may also create safety challenges unique to each.
Grindr, for example, is a proximity-based app that has previously prompted concerns over the ability for strangers to triangulate someone’s physical location. However, Dietzel said, there is now an option to remove the exact-distance feature.
“A lot of the features depend on the user,” he said. “There’s a lot of individualization of responsibility in terms of the features these dating app companies put out there. It’s up to the users as to whether they engage with them or not.”
Tecson, who was planning a memorial for Zafar in Port Alberni on Jan. 23, said he did not believe Zafar would have brought a stranger to his home on the first meeting. After he met Zafar on Grindr, their first in-person meeting was in public.
“He’ll always be remembered, especially by me. His memory will live on.”
Tecson said Zafar had not told relatives back in Pakistan about his sexual identity, and he faulted the RCMP for making it public.
Dietzel said gay men, particularly those who are not public about their sexual identity, may seek apps that prioritize anonymity in seeking out intimate partners. Grindr offers that.
He said that may have made Zafar more vulnerable.
“There’s a desire for intimacy there that was clearly exploited or taken advantage of and in a way that ended in severe harm.”
Although anonymity and invisibility could help some people feel safe, “it can also create opportunities for folks to abuse that and take advantage of those affordances,” he said, before emphasizing that such crimes are neither the fault of the victim nor the app.
“There’s just bad people out there,” Dietzel said.
“The apps have a responsibility, as much as possible, to filter and find and remove folks who are likely to cause harm or who have caused harm. Then, as individuals, we need to take as many precautions as possible to just make sure that we’re safe in those interactions.”
This report by The Canadian Press was first published Jan. 26, 2026.
Brieanna Charlebois, The Canadian Press
